The Exile Files

Raging Against the Outrageous. Laughter and Insanity Abound.

Archive for May 10th, 2007

I’ve Had a Busy Week..

Posted by Exile on May 10, 2007

.. and it’s not over yet. I’ll have to work the weekend too. To make matters worse, the grass is growing back with a vengance so I’m going to have to go through that awful charade again.

I do have a couple of hours to call my own now, but the long-haired one is determined to see the heats of the bloody Eurovision Song Contest, which is way above my level of tolerance, so I’m sitting here at the computer instead. Oh well. At least I can catch up on all my e-mail and all the other stuff I haven’t been able to do much with over the past six or seven days.

To my suprise, I have won about fifteen different e-mail lotteries over the last week. I am now a multi-multi-millionaire. A couple of million euros, several million dollars and a heap of pounds sterling. I didn’t do anything to earn this, it’s just that I was lucky enough to have my e-mail drawn as the winning adress. Damn, I’m lucky! All I have to do is give my name, address, telephone number, social security number, bank account number and a whole lot of other private information and the cash is mine. I’d better get on with it then, because they all say I have to respond within a very short time frame. Why can’t they just send me the cheque? Strange how all these huge muti-million international concerns all seem to have e-mail adresses at One would have thought that they were at or or at least had their own domain somewhere. Oh well, never mind. I’m sure it’s all above board and perfectly legitimate.

And there’s two nice chaps here from somewhere in Africa that are asking me for help in moving a few more million dollars that their now dead fathers had managed to squirrel away to forgotten bank accounts in Zaire and Namibia. They’re offering me 40% of the total just to help them with my bank account number and so on, so that they can transfer the money to me. I can’t believe my luck. This is truly wonderful. I must reply at once.

Finally, I can retire and hire someone else to do all the work.

(Honey, book the hotel you like the best. We’re off to Barbados for the year. Yes, of course we can afford it. Look at how much money we won.)

This really all sounds almost too good to be true!


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