The Exile Files

Raging Against the Outrageous. Laughter and Insanity Abound.

Here Comes the Summer Sun

Posted by Exile on July 7, 2007

But we can’t see it because of the 2,ooo foot high rain clouds that cover the land. Damn, this is depressing. The aftermath of my Greek holiday is getting to me too. My skin is falling off me in great flakes. I look like a leper. I take my shirt off and it snows for about ten minutes. My wife follows me round with a dust-buster.

homer_naked.jpgIn Greece we were whining about the 43 degrees in the shade and wow, wasn’t it hot. Yep. It was. In fact it was so hot that I spent the most of a day sitting in the Ionian sea with only my head above water. I looked like a match when I finally got out. White body and a bright red head. My wife thought it was amusing. The following day I tried to compensate and burnt the rest of my body to a crisp. Which took about thirty minutes. Then I looked like a lobster, fresh out of the pot, but with a broad white strip around my nether regions. There is no justice. People greeted me with a friendly “Hi Red”.

Denmark hasn’t had much of a summer. May wasn’t bad and it looked promising enough, but then June set in and the rain started. We have had record rainfall. July doesn’t look like being any better. Now the farmers are beginning to whine too. No harvest this year. No wheat, no barley. That’s terrible. No malt means no beer. Tragic.

The garden is overgrown now. Warm and wet seems to suit the plants. My garden has the appearance of a mini rainforest. I’m almost afraid to go beyond the path. I don’t know what is living between the house and the woodshed. Probably wild, vicious, maneating animals. They could easily be lying in wait in the long grass or lurking behind the bushes. We hear strange noises at night.

I have convinced my wife that we need a week of sunshine before I can mow the bloody lawn again. By then I’ll probably need a scythe to get through it and an armed escort to ensure my survival.

Global warming? My ass. Global pouring it down seems to be the order of the day.

I wish I was in Greece.


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