The Exile Files

Raging Against the Outrageous. Laughter and Insanity Abound.

A Christmas Tale

Posted by Exile on December 9, 2008

Last Friday, we held the works Christmas party. Everyone was invited. Most of us signed up for it. Actually, it turned out to be one of the best Christmas bashes I have ever been to. We went to one of Denmark’s largest conference halls for the Christmas Gala Show with accompanying dinner and lashings of beer. And a great success it was too. A good time was had by all. As the hall isn’t actually all that far from home, I asked my wife to collect me when I was sufficiently partied out and ready to fall over. She agreed. I love a good plan.

The company had laid on transport for the occasion, ferrying us from the works to the hall. Great. Thinking it would probably be a good idea to protect my car from would be vandals, I drove it into the store hall along with the manager’s car. No problem, I thought. I can get my good lady wife to bring me out here on Saturday and I can get my car out of the hall and all will be well. But no. On getting to the works on Saturday, we found that my entry card wouldn’t unlock the main door. One has to have a special card for that. You live and learn. Sorry wife, for inconveniencing you for nothing.

Oh well, no problem. I could always drive out on Monday morning in her car and move my car. Then I could drive the wife’s car back home and she could take me to work at 2:00 PM and I can drive my own car home. With a Herculean effort, I rose at six and arrived at the works at 7:00 AM and moved my car.

Home again, home again jiggety-jog. To quote some long forgotten children’s rhyme. My wife drove me to work at 2:00 and I thought all was going nicely to plan. It was. Until I realised that I had changed into my working clothes and that my car keys were in my jacket pocket at home!

And so it was, that my dear long-suffering wife had to climb into her old car again and drive all the way back to my workplace to deliver my keys.

I am now referred to as “The Christmas Cretin”.

I’d better come up with a pretty spectacular Christmas present for her.


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