The Exile Files

Raging Against the Outrageous. Laughter and Insanity Abound.

Archive for June 2nd, 2012

Safety Dance

Posted by Exile on June 2, 2012

Which sounds a bit weird coming from me. When I dance people usually run away or get seriously hurt. But here we go.. long story made short.

See, I found a job. It’s not full time nor will it last very long but it’s something I really wanted to try once I’d found out what it was. I had answered an ad in the paper which didn’t really say a lot about what the job was. It directed me a website for further information, which it didn’t really have and, since I have to apply for two jobs every week in order to get my unemployment benefit, I fired off the standard blah-blah letter. Holy smoke, they called me in for an interview.

I turned up, not expecting having a chance in hell of getting hired but after ten minutes of conversation, I was hired. I’m going to be a passenger profiler for Delta Airlines. I was given a date and time to be at a certain place and the training for this job began. Bloody hell. I’ve never read and studied so much in a long, long time. Every day brought a new exam, pass or leave, and a lot of study. Some things have to be learned by heart. In fact, a lot had to be learned by heart. Questioning techniques, what questions to ask, who to look out for, what to look out for and a whole plethora of other stuff. Like I said, long story made short, it took two weeks but I made the grade. Absolutely the oldest guy in the team, I get to be “Daddy” for some of the others. “Bring them a bit of leadership.” was the term that was used. Jesus on a bike…  So, with the uniform on, I look real cool and with the added sunglasses.. well… “Men in Black” comes to mind. Just call me Mr. Security.

That was the safety bit. Here comes the dance.

We had to have a kick-off party. It had to be on a Thursday because the whole affair kicks off on Saturday and we figured we’d need Friday to recover. I wasn’t particularly pleased that a vegetarian restaurant was chosen for dinner but having said that, it was a pleasant meal in good company and the beer wasn’t bad either. We sat and ate and chatted and bonded with the other half of the team which won’t be profiling but will be looking after the aircraft while it sits on the ground. A good time was had by all and then it was off to the town for a night of drunken cheer.
Not having really been in the town of an evening and definitely not being up to speed with the youngsters, I contented myself with following along. I reckoned with my past record of partying and silliness I had nothing to fear. So where did we end up?

At a Techno street party…!

I was the oldest guy on the street. By a long way.

We found a bar and I decided to let my hair down and show these kids what a party really is. Throwing all of my one-hundred-and-eight kilos into the fray I hopped and bopped until daybreak. Actually, it was all fun. Everyone in a great mood and music up your wazoo.. Beer in a long endless stream and the usual crises concerning lost compadres and handbags. All resolved eventually and a very good night for the money. I wasn’t the last to leave and, despite the beer buzz, I’ll bet I was the most sober.

The whole shooting match at the airport got underway today. The first aircraft has been checked out along with all its passengers, on time and without hitch or hindrance. Well done security agents. I get my baptism tomorrow.

Fingers crossed and, I promise, no dancing.

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