The Exile Files

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Archive for February, 2013

From our European affairs desk:

Posted by Exile on February 1, 2013

Brussels. EU to instigate Gold Tooth Tax.

The EU commission in collaboration with the Central European Bank is to instigate an astonishing new tax to bolster the worth of Euro gold reserves. As the present monetary crisis continues the EU is about to capitalise on citizens who have had their ailing teeth filled with gold fillings. As the price of gold generally increases, the value of these fillings also rises. Therefore, according to EU tax officials, those citizens with gold fillings are gaining unearned amounts of money. This is to be compared with “hidden investment” and will become tax liable.

Dental records across the entire EU will be subject to examination and taxes will be applied to consider the rise in value, from the date of the filling, until present gold prices. Citizens will be taxed on the accrued differences.

MP and Euro MP Sir Gerald Fox-Hunter had little to say when questioned by our reporter.

“This is yet another attempt by the Social Democratic led EU Commission to level an already too flat playing field. It is one thing to take the food out of the mouths of the people, which is only to be expected, but to take the very fillings from their teeth is nothing short of appalling.” he said. “I shall be raising the question in the House (Commons. Ed.) later this month after the end of the fly fishing season.”

The EU tax is expected to take effect within the next six months. It is expected that those with gold fillings will have time to have their gold fillings replaced at their own expense if they so wish and thus avoid the tax. The resulting pile of gold will be harvested from dental surgeries across Europe and sent directly to the Central European Bank vaults to bolster bullion reserves.

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