The Exile Files

Raging Against the Outrageous. Laughter and Insanity Abound.

Double Trouble

Posted by Exile on May 23, 2023

If it’s worth doing, do it well…

We were promised rain today, so digging the garden, or other outdoor activity, was going to be a bit tricky.
I was also a bit excited about the tractor I had ordered being delivered today and a whole lot of flower bulbs, corms and seeds which I hope will give the garden some colour. Coincidentally, both deliveries happened at the same time.
More about the tractor later. I have to read an instruction manual first.

So, in the event of rain, what can be done? The Americans have that fine building, The Pentagon. We can beat that. We have an eight-sided pavilion. We call it “The Octagon”. It needs some work and some fitting out…

We had removed a folding leaf table from the kitchen when we moved in. The long haired one didn’t want it and it had to go. She had me install some shelving in its place but I kept the table. One never knows…
I thought it might be the perfect thing to hang in The Octagon and it would provide me with a place to smoke my pipe in the winter, if nothing else. Having discussed the affair with the good lady, I got cracking.
Tape measure, spirit level, drill, screws, pencil, it is grand to have all the relevant tools at hand. I got to work.
I measured the width of one of the internal sections and found center. I drew a vertical reference line on the wall. I then measured for the desired height of the table and drew a horizontal reference line. The table is hung on a board which has a perpendicular section upon which the drop leaf is hinged. I measured the depth required from the table top to place the screws that hold the thing to the wall and measured the distance from center that the first screw would need. I marked accordingly. Here we go then. I drove the screw in to make a pilot hole. I placed a screw into the back of the table and lifted and pulled the table to the relevant position to set the first screw. A success. Child’s play.

Now, this thing is heavy. I needed to lift it to be able to find the position for all the other screws. This is more precise than measuring. Basically, I only needed to set one more screw and then it would be easy. I was lying on the floor, trying to lift the table, find horizontal and use the drill/screw machine to set the second screw all at once.
I needed more hands and didn’t have them. I attempted to support the end of the table with my spirit level in order to allow me to use my left hand for other, more useful purposes that just supporting a lot of weight. It was not comfortable lying on the floor either. It was difficult to reach the required height to put the screw in. And yet, despite all that, I did it. I had two screws holding the thing up! Yay.. Pat myself on the back.
Now I could set the remaining screws easily. And so I did. Job done.
I stood back and admired my handiwork. It wasn’t quite horizontal. It was central to everything, but not quite horizontal. I thought, “I’ll live with it.” But it wasn’t quite horizontal.. That would annoy me forever but I didn’t want to go through all that pain and effort again. Determined to ignore it, I gathered all my tools and prepared to leave. I turned to the door and then I realised…

It was in the wrong place!

It should have been directly opposite the door. It wasn’t. It had to go. After a good deal of cursing and a cup of tea, I removed it from its position and started again. It’s where it should be now. She had a good laugh about it. I had a long session of self chastisement but actually it didn’t matter. Having done the job once, I got it done again with less trouble in less time and used a proper support to help me find horizontal. It’s alright now. We had the wicker chairs and didn’t quite know where to put them. They have a home now.
I need to do more in there. The floor needs sanding and finishing. The windows need a good cleaning. The door doesn’t close properly and I need to find some form of lighting. There is a power supply in there. I may even fit a paraffin heater or something similar for those colder evenings.
Still, it’s a start. Better than doing nothing because of a drop of rain…


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